Game-Summaries:9/18/2021 Recollections

Recollections by Amber

Well, yesterday was a complete shitshow. Trust that bastard Vuduin and my father to ruin the one bloody day of joy the town gets all year. Seriously, the taxes are bad enough, but to grab the coins right out of their hands before they’ve even had a chance to count them is low, even for Vapid-tor and the Brainless Bunch. By the hells, I still can’t figure out where he digs up those guards. The way they finger their SHORT-swords all day while ogling the townswomen, it’s no great mystery what thoughts occupy those tiny minds.

It all started innocently enough! Festival day is always full of plenty of entertainments to keep a girl happy! Good old Astret sponsored a drinking contest, which of course I won. That pretty little elf even tried to take part, though she didn’t last long. She is so beautiful, whith those long legs… she hardly even seems like she’s walking when she moves…. Just sort of gliding over the ground. I, on the other hand, go stomping about in my ruddy big boots. Even her name is prettier than mine. Tourmaline is for dainty rings and broaches… Amber is just… just a big hunk of dried sap. You know, come to think of it, I hate her and her dainty name… hate her so much.

Anyway, after the drinking contest, things get a little fuzzy. I know there was a lot of pie... most of ended up on my shirt and in the slop trough. I think Josdreak won that one. Hells, he’ll be crowing about THAT until the next planting. There was also some kind of comedy contest, but none of their answers were very funny… mine were definitely better. I remember I kept trying to get on a horse, but definitely couldn’t. Probably for the best, since horses don’t really like me much. And then just when the fun was starting, Vapetor and his stuck-up little bitch arrived. And right at his heels, my father, like the good little lap-dog he is.

Makes me sick, to see my Da like that. I’ve heard all the stories about my dad in the army. They called him Bloody Ironfoot, they say. Could stomp a man to death as he ran by. Could take a giant at the knees, just to get at his head. But to look at him now, you’d never believe it. He has trouble reaching the top of the stairs, much less the top of a giant’s shoulders. Lifts more legs of lamb than axes these days. And when that Vapetor is around… he’s like a whipped warhound… “Yes, my Count. Right away, my Count. As you wish, my Count.” I mean, this is my Da’s town! These are his people! He is supposed to stand up for them! Protect them. Not rob them blind so Vapetor’s spineless runt can have a new party dress to meet the queen! And right in the middle of it, a fight starts. Didn’t see how it started, but when they started arresting people, I started throwing punches. I mean if the daughter of the Squire was in the fight, they couldn’t arrest EVERYONE right?

Must have hit a slick spot in the turf, though, cause before I know it, I’m on the ground, and Da is dragging me away by my hair. Saw him give Josdreak what for, too, before I passed out. Can’t remember why though, but it did kinda remind me of a time when Da wasn’t quite so old and slow. Reminded me of that time when he caught me and the Shepard’s son, showing each other what we had underneath our tunics. I had a bald spot for a month where he yanked me up out the hay, and I bet the Shepard’s boy (what WAS his name, again???) still has the marks from his crook on his shapely ass!

Anyway, when this hangover passes, I’ll go talk to my dad. I am sure I can get him to let those folks outta jail. I mean it was just a good old-fashioned rumble, after all. I may have to kiss Vuduin’s pimply ass too, though if he’s still here. Well, as I can suck it up, as long as “Lady” Etenaela isn’t there looking down on me. I may have to remind her what she let her cousin do her that one time (no THREE times, was it?) down in the orchard. That’ll knock her down a few pegs off that pedestal her daddy’s got her on!